Back at the Janky Shack headquarters, secretly located in suburbia, the Gray Pearl was looking a bit boring. So obviously, the best decision was for Zenkor to throw $3 worth of spray paint at the door.

For those of you building a rat rod, lemon’s car or junkyard spaceship, follow this guide to make your shit gain at least 5 cool points and at least 15 horsepowers(dyno tested).

The first thing you need to do is forget about ever selling your car for more than $200, after you’re ok with that you really have nothing to lose. At this point you can’t really go wrong with how you do this, which is the mentality you need to make it look awesome. Next you will need to get 2 cans of spray paint that are different, either light and dark or 2 different colors, and some stick on letters or symbols or whatever gay tribal stuff you want to plaster on your machine. If you want to cut out your own design, spray the back with some spray adhesive and it will work.

After you collect all this shit, get some sandpaper. 220 and 500 grit carbon paper is what seemed to work the best. Sand the area real quick so the paint won’t flake off or if your paint is already awful and you’re impacient like me you can skip this step. Spray whatever color you want your letters to be on first. You might want to spray a little thicker than Zenkor did so you will have more play later.

Stick your letters on after the paint dries and then get ready to forget everything you ever learned about spraypainting. To get the paint to run you really need to just blast a ton of paint in 1 spot until it pools up and kind of slowly work your way around all the letters and then kind of feather out the edges with more of a regular light coat painting technique.

At this point drink about 2 beers because that avalanche of paint you just puked out is going to take a while to dry. Then carefully take the letters off. If you want to do the same design on the other side you can put masking tape on first to stick the design together so it will be the same. Apparently our picture taker was drunk at this point and forgot this step.

Now that you’re buzzed and care even less about your $200 car you are going to destroy your artwork with sand paper so it can look just as bad as the rest of your vehicle. Spray water all over where you just painted and dip your 500ish grit sand paper into water and just start sanding the entire area until it looks old. The difficult part here is the second color of paint is so much thicker than the first that you will need to focus more on those areas. Zenkor switched to 220 grit about half way through to really wear down the black areas and add some extra wear to the edges of some of the letters.

When you think you’re done just take a hose and a car wash brush and wash the area. You can use your hand and water if you’re really cheap like we are, you don’t need to use soap, just water.

The last step is you need to drive around and let your neighbors know that you’re better than them and then take pictures and post them on the Janky Shack vehicle circus Facebook page.