Let me just start by saying this was so ridiculous, I was laughing so hard while I was hooking this up it almost didn’t work. Also, it has nothing to do with a junk yard, I just like alliteration.

While out in the middle of nowhere on an undisclosed job, one of my co-workers decided to leave his radio playing in his work truck while he was completing his tasks. Who knew that playing a radio for 10 hours while your truck isn’t running would kill your battery? Needless to say, working nearby, I received a phone call. After I pulled up to ground zero, we discovered nobody had jumper cables.

At this point it was beer-thirty and the goal was to get out of there like your girlfriend’s husband just got home, so driving 20 minutes to the store wasn’t the favored option.

We searched through the trucks and discoverd the dead truck had 2 batteries, which was perfect since there was a long red cable that connected the positive terminals on the driver side battery to the one on the passenger side. We smiled at each other and after removing some useless plastic pieces we disconnected one end of the red cable and swung it over to the positive terminal of the running truck.

Now we needed a cable long enough and thick enough to connect the negatives together without starting a fire, so we searched through trash bags in the bed and found some 7 conductor cable for a 2 speed industrial fan. We stripped the ends and twisted everything together to make 1 giant conductor and clamped it onto the terminal with some channel lock pliers held closed with a zip tie. Perfect! This cable would have been perfect except it wasn’t long enough…

…It was however, long enough to reach the radiator support. So we scratched some paint off of the radiator support and with a few sparks we had a complete circuit! Immediately all the lights in the dead truck brightened and BAM! that shit started right up like a political argument in the comment section of a Donald Trump meme.

The lesson here is if you want to get something done, think about beer.