I’m not sure which part was the most exhilarating, drilling holes into a perfectly good roof after a rainstorm or talking about condoms and OHSA for 45 minutes on a flimsy ass scaffolding while drinking a beer afterwords.

20160714_041255A few days ago on a whim, probably after an Elon Musk video, I decided solar technology was interesting enough to spend hundreds of dollars on for at least lulz and probably practical research.  The real reason though, was to be able to tell random girls at bars that I owned a power plant without lying while wearing a power suit with a gold tie.

I actually researched solar technology for at least the duration of a 13 year old girl covering a Metallica song on YouTube and came up with some kind of Frankenstein 200 watt monocrystalline setup with 2x 18 volt panels in series and a grid tie inverter. With an such a high output, this 200 watt system is pretty much going to be able to provide power to most of Central Florida and if the lizard people in government upgrade the power grid we can even expand this system to 400 or even 600 watts!!! That is 10 whole 60 watt light bulbs (only during the day of course)!!!  We will be running power lines over that Trump wall to sell power to Mexico before you know it.  I’m pretty sure this isn’t going to work though, because despite spending over $500 on materials I didn’t use even a single zip tie which upsets me and leaves me filled with regret.

20160714_041339Absolutely no measurements were taken during the assembling and mounting process of the panels. Strictly firing at the hip with a 1/4″ impact and a box of self tapping metal screws, I’m actually impressed we only damaged 50% of the expensive stuff which was quickly hidden behind some black goop I found in my toolbox.

It’s dark now and the panels have been screwed to the roof with some angle aluminum and probably able to handle to at least an F5 tornado at this point considering I can remember putting at least 4 screws into the whole thing. The inverter has been attached in a very conspicuous spot near eye level in my bedroom for all to admire with ease, while an extension cord fitted with a Kill-A-Watt measuring device is sloppily scattered across the floor to a nearby power outlet.

20160713_203436Like I said, it’s dark now so I haven’t tested any of this but it is definitely going to work since Turbine Jesus came to me in a dream and told me it would. An update will soon be to follow assuming a random viking doesn’t show up to raid my lands and challenge my claim as jarl of Janky Shack.

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