Earlier this season Kim Jung Un is believed to have been colluding with hurricane rights activist groups in the Caribbean sea and Atlantic Ocean. Working with these natural distractions has allowed the tyrannical leader to start his invasion into the pacific northwest of the United States. North Korea has also been accused of heavily investing into water bottle company stocks, heavily influencing pricing in the water market and funneling profits into his war machine. Korean goats haven’t been fed in some time, and have been restless the last few weeks. The money from water bottle sales is expected to be used to hire Somali pirates to hijack ships full of grain to fuel the newly formed North Korean goat calvary.
Claiming storm supremacist groups, such as Nazie, only care about ‘the best hurricanes’, hurricane activists groups such as Antifam and No Lives Matter have now gathered in the Caribbean sea to demonstrate their disgust for President Trump’s Level 5 hurricane wall. Project ‘Harvey’ was the first display of terrorism by the groups combined effort, and was considered a success. Millions of dollars of damage was caused by the rioting and looting, but as the fallout of project Harvey subsides in media views, demonstrations are scheduled to commence again in Florida, Caribbean Islands, and Mexico. Insider information purchased with Bitcoins on the other internet has confirmed the operations names: Irma, Jose, and Katia along with their current strength in wind speed and 5 day expected destruction path. The information has been made available on internet leak site http://www.nhc.noaa.gov/
Trump has responded in various Instagram posts stating ALL Hurricanes born outside the United States must apply for citizenship before entering the country. He also goes on to say on many occasions that securing our boarders are very important and that he will personally build a wall so tall, with his pointer finger, that no hurricane will be able to enter illegally. The governor of Florida visited the internet leak site earlier this week and told everyone in his state to run away or put armor on their house.
Having issues with his 1950’s missile technology, the North Korean leader has changed tactics. North Korea has been sending teenage men dressed as hipsters and kawaii girls to the pacific northwest with a mission to burn down the United States. Claiming he doesn’t need missiles to watch the world burn, he has instructed infiltrators to purchase fireworks, flammable chemicals, and matches and use them irresponsibly in forests. The US coast guard is prepared to intercept all paper mâché boats filled with strangely dressed people with determined looks on their faces.
The tension rises day by day, as the hurricane videos grow in views, will Donald Trump have enough #tweets to stop the invasion of natural distraction before the goat calvary arrives? Spam refresh on your browser to find out. -Matt Martin, Fake News 13